Dumbass advert time….

The camera is set behind one fishfinger. A little way away, two other fishfingers are standing together. One of these speaks first, with a male voice. The lone fishfinger answers with a typically feminine, sexy voice – higher pitched, but low for her range, and husky.

Male fishfinger: Whoosh! Who are you?!
Female fishfinger: I’m the new salmon fishfinger.
Male fishfinger: Salmon! Does that mean that you’re pink underneath?
Female: Yeah… wanna look?!
*unzipping noise, breadcrumbs fall off, as a dress would*
*two other fish fingers faint*
Scene cuts to a shot of the packaging.
Male voiceover: Only from Birdseye, new salmon fishfingers. Take a fresh look at birdseye.
Scene cuts back to the two male fishfingers, who are still on the floor.
Male 1: So much pink
Male 2: I wasn’t expecting that.

That’s right fish fingers need to be sexualised and of course salmon is pink and therefore a woman. Whoever came up with this ad was supersmart… no wait, they were just rehashing the same old stereotypes and tricks about gender and sex in order to sell something fundamentally ungendered and unsexy. *sigh *

Oh and while trying to track down the advert I found this updated version of it…

Male fishfinger: Whoosh! Who are you?!
Female fishfinger: I’m the new salmon fishfinger.
Male fishfinger: Salmon! Does that mean that you’re pink underneath?
Female: Yeah… wanna look?!
*unzipping noise, breadcrumbs fall off, as a dress would*
Male fishfinger (with a different, clearly edited in voice): …. You fucking slut!
Scene cuts to a shot of the packaging.
Male voiceover: Only from Birdseye, new salmon fishfingers. Take a fresh look at birdseye.


Which kinda made me laugh, but also kinda sums up how stupid the ad is in the first place… bread covered fish stripping off? Yeah it really is that dumb.

-Alex

(edited to add transcripts.)

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