I am at my parent’s house being forced to watch Strictly Come Dancing and it’s a disturbing experience. Here are some things I don’t understand…

1. Why do the women need to be semi-naked in order to dance?
They are all clad in slit to the waist and/or bum scrapping ‘dresses’ for no obvious reason. Costumes are one thing, but I’ve just watched Lisa Snowdon (a model/ actress as far as I can tell), dance in what only be described as a swimming costume, and a bloody small on at that! WHY?
(Admittedly some of the men’s outfits are pretty dubious, but the women are, as ever, worse off)

2. Have the BBC got their own sweat shop for sowing the sequins on to these (tiny) outfits?
Because everyone seems to have about 6 different outfits and there are about 7,000 different people dancing…So I can only assume that the BBC have taken over a primark sweat shop for the duration of the show in order to make then

3. Why is Bruce Forsythe allowed out and more to the point when is someone going to have enough of him letching over them and knock his teeth out?
It’s like watching a pervy uncle at a family wedding, leering over the semi naked women, brushing up against them and making really inappropriate jokes. I feel quite ill.

Answers on the back of a postcard (or in the form of comments) please….!